How to pay attention to your first child while preparing for the birth of your second child

By: - 17th December 2018

For a mother, there is no other treasure like a child. This incredible affection for a child comes from the bottom of her heart filling her world with the scent of love. This bond does not change from the first child to the second to the tenth child. That is the limitless nature of a mother’s love.

Yet, a mother can be slightly troubled when she finds out that she is pregnant with a second child. Your firstborn who has been enjoying being the only child so far will now have to be addressed as ‘loku’ putha or ‘loku’ duwa. The joy and love of your children is absolutely important for any family. So how does a mother convey the news to the little heart who has been having amma’s affections all to himself…?

‘Would you like to have a little sister or a brother to play with…?’ Most probably you will get a yes or no answer to this question. That is the nature of a child’s mind. A child’s psyche is extremely sensitive. Since love is one of their vital needs, they might not be happy about having to share the mother’s love. Therefore, you need to take great care in preparing their tender minds…

Sometimes, mothers might do this sort of thing without thinking

“Now you are all grown up… when your little sister or brother arrives in a few days, you can’t get petted like before” Although you say like this, your first child does not possess the knowledge and the understanding of an adult… Isn’t it wrong to present this situation, the arrival of a newborn darling, as a major transformation in the family? A child’s mind is soft as a flower…and sensitive. If the preparation for the arrival of the new baby has a negative impression on your firstborn, it’ll be hard for her tender mind to bear it. Hence, mothers need to take a step back and think a bit more about this situation.

“We don’t love your sister/brother. We only love you. The baby can’t even walk or talk… We only love you, our little darling.” Talking like this about the sweet baby who is going to join your family soon is also not appropriate.

When the child is given such impressions, she might get the idea that she is more important than her younger sister or brother. Young minds cannot perceive concepts such as peace and harmony. On the other hand, young minds are also not devoid of competitive thoughts

You can do these things to reassure your child.

Teach your child about the advantages of having a younger sibling.

“Now when amma brings your little sister/brother home, my darling has someone to play with…”

Also, “Soon there will be a little brother or sister coming to our home to play with you

‘Let’s take good care of your baby sister/brother…’

“Now you can also help amma with nangi’s work… Let’s make beautiful clothes for her just like you have…” Many kids feel bad when new clothes are prepared for the newborn baby. Therefore, it’s best to take the support of your first child as well for this kind of work. If you don’t even let them touch the clothes of the new baby, the child will feel neglected. It is good to plan everything in a way that your firstborn will not be left frustrated.

‘Shall we take your baby sister by the hand and go for a walk?

“Your friends also have younger brothers and sisters… But until now my little darling didn’t have a brother or a sister… But soon, you also can take the hand of your little sister or brother and go to the beach and the park…”

Pay attention to your firstborn more than before.

With the physical exhaustion that comes with pregnancy, a mother can easily lose her temper, unable to tolerate the trouble your firstborn will give you to get more attention. However, this can break their darling hearts. Therefore, explain about your discomfort to the child in a soft and loving manner. “Sweetie… Amma is very tired… can’t you sleep alone today…? Can you please ask Grandma to serve you rice for you to eat…? Amma is going to rest a bit…”

Father’s role

On the one hand, the wife who is preparing for childbirth has to deal with a lot of physical discomfort… On the other hand, your firstborn child’s mentality… The father can intervene by getting closer to the child more than ever before. Or else, he can support by doing the housework, giving the mother and the little one the chance to stay free.

Not only during the period of preparing for childbirth, but also during hospitalization and after the arrival of the newborn baby, it is important to pay good attention to your first child. This period is even more important than the time he spent inside you. It is essential to give your child the attention, love, and protection he needs, since this is a time in which your household atmosphere turns upside down. There can be many small changes in your child’s psyche such as an innocent jealousy, self-pity caused due to feelings getting hurt regardless of your reassuring words, anger towards the new baby, and annoyance towards the family members. However, by taking better care of your firstborn child more than ever before, you can make sure that he is not left heartbroken.

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